Hi all,
There are times that my thoughts flow easily, and I can detail our emotions, what's been going on. These past weeks we've been blessed with folks checking on us, and asking how they can help. I can tell you a bit about what we've done to setup some funds for Nicholas, but I can't seem to find the words that answer that question "How are you? How's Nicholas? Jen? Your folks?"...
Cancer affects everyone in the patient's circle of family and friends. For the past year, we could set aside feelings of helplessness, or exhaustion, or being scared, and focus solely on Andy, on the next treatment, on other options, on living in the moment and enjoying the time that we did have. Now, its catching up. I can see, and feel in myself, the exhaustion of this fight. I see it in Jen, in my parents. There's a hole where Andy was in our lives, both in the full span of his life and in the efforts we all made this past year. Jen and I dropped a friend off at the airport on the Sunday afternoon after Andy's funeral and then drove out to Framingham. We were quiet for a bit, just letting the concrete sections of the Williams tunnel on 90W fly by. At some point either she or I asked, now what?
Now - we grieve, and we recover. We get our strength back, we find ways to support Jen and Nicholas, to remember Andy through fun events, to honor him, find ways to fight lung cancer in his name, we focus on rebuilding our lives in a way that Andy would want. Andy would want us to keep going - we may stumble a bit here and there while we catch our collective breath but we'll be okay.
Thank you to everyone who's reached out to ask what we were going to do for Nicholas. Jen and I sat down this week to discuss this, how to proceed and what would most help her and Nicholas.
Andy and Jen had setup a trust for Nicholas last fall. We've setup an account under that trust to help Jen with the costs of raising Nicholas. When Nicholas was born we setup a 529 college savings account so this would provide an opportunity to help with his college savings.
If you would like to donate to the account for the costs of raising Nicholas, please send a check made out to "Swan Family Trust" to Jen Swan at 16 Colonial Drive Framingham MA 01701. We could have it sent to the bank as well (TD Banknorth) but there's no good mechanism of learning about the donation to thank you.
If you would like to donate to Nicholas' college fund, please send a check made out to Fidelity Investment Service, with "Nicholas Swan, Account 620030805" in the memo line, again to Jen in Framingham. Same deal with the 529 - if you would like, the account can be funded directly to Fidelity Investments, but we will not know who made the donation.
Jen and I are also looking at options for donations to lung cancer specific charities. As we had noted in the obituary, contributions in his memory may be made to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, Thoracic Oncology Dept., 44 Binney St., Boston 02115. Thank you to those who have done this already, DFCI will send us a letter notifying us when they receive a donation. This is the department that cared for Andy at DFCI, and I cannot say enough good things about the nurses, doctors, researchers and staff affiliated with the Thoracic Oncology program.
We're also looking at the larger Lung cancer charities that are established. We'll discuss these further and put more information out about them in the coming weeks.
Tim
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
The past week
Good day everyone,
Its been just over a week since Andy left us. Still surreal, still hard, I imagine it will be for a period of time for everyone.
Last Wednesday, after doing the planning, Jen, Ann and I went through all the pictures on Andy's computer. This was sad, because we know that they're won't be more pictures, but also fun, and while it was tough to see some, many made us smile and laugh about about a lot of good times. We ended up pulling out 230 or so photos, and I also went through my laptop and found roughly 35 more. Jen printed them all out, and laid roughly 180 of them out on 6 boards. Ann and my Aunt and Uncle helped glue them all on there on Friday afternoon, and we put the boards and remaining photos in the funeral home.
We had the viewing on Friday and the service on Saturday. Both days were emotionally exhausting, both days had packed attendance at the funeral home. We are grateful for the turnout on both days; while not surprised by the kind words and remembrances of Andy, it helped us in our grieving to hear so many good (and some outrageously funny) things about him.
It was great to see folks who had come in from all over, whether flying in from LA, or driving up from NJ or arriving from the local area. It was also nice to see some old high school friends that I had not seen in 18+ years (now I am dating myself :) and to introduce work, school and college friends to Jen and the parents.
I gave a eulogy that I did not know how I would deliver. Other folks spoke as well, it was an emotional service for all.
Our cousin Sara, who is very close to Andy, wrote a nice letter to him and published it on her blog California Stars: Dear Andy. I cried when I read it, its a testament to their having fun traveling and growing closer together.
Saturday after the service we had folks back to a local Italian restaurant. Again, it was nice to say hi to everyone, and thank you for coming out to spend time with Jen, my parents and I. We only wish we had more time to catch up with folks and that it wasn't under these circumstances.
We've had a lot of folks contact us expressing wishes to donate to help Jen and Nicholas, and to help fund Nicholas' college education. Thank you for thinking of us and expressing this wish to help. Jen and I are meeting with a financial counselor on Monday in order to setup an account that she could use to help with the cost of raising Nicholas, and to roll the account and an existing 529 college savings plan under a trust that had been setup by Andy for Nicholas.
We'll also be talking to charities about giving people the opportunity to make a donation to an "official" charity in memory of Andy that will focus on Lung Cancer, as this was one of Andy's wishes.
I expect that I'll publish all that information within a week or so, after all the paperwork is done and everything is established. Thank you for your patience as we setup these avenues to help in Andy's memory.
We're also going to make a book for Nicholas, and for us, with photos of Andy and stories about him. So - if you have a good story, jot it down. Jen and I will send out information about how we'll collect them and include them in the book.
Thank you again, to all those that came, to friends and relatives that helped us with this, and to friends that could not be here but sent wishes and thoughts to us.
Tim
Its been just over a week since Andy left us. Still surreal, still hard, I imagine it will be for a period of time for everyone.
Last Wednesday, after doing the planning, Jen, Ann and I went through all the pictures on Andy's computer. This was sad, because we know that they're won't be more pictures, but also fun, and while it was tough to see some, many made us smile and laugh about about a lot of good times. We ended up pulling out 230 or so photos, and I also went through my laptop and found roughly 35 more. Jen printed them all out, and laid roughly 180 of them out on 6 boards. Ann and my Aunt and Uncle helped glue them all on there on Friday afternoon, and we put the boards and remaining photos in the funeral home.
We had the viewing on Friday and the service on Saturday. Both days were emotionally exhausting, both days had packed attendance at the funeral home. We are grateful for the turnout on both days; while not surprised by the kind words and remembrances of Andy, it helped us in our grieving to hear so many good (and some outrageously funny) things about him.
It was great to see folks who had come in from all over, whether flying in from LA, or driving up from NJ or arriving from the local area. It was also nice to see some old high school friends that I had not seen in 18+ years (now I am dating myself :) and to introduce work, school and college friends to Jen and the parents.
I gave a eulogy that I did not know how I would deliver. Other folks spoke as well, it was an emotional service for all.
Our cousin Sara, who is very close to Andy, wrote a nice letter to him and published it on her blog California Stars: Dear Andy. I cried when I read it, its a testament to their having fun traveling and growing closer together.
Saturday after the service we had folks back to a local Italian restaurant. Again, it was nice to say hi to everyone, and thank you for coming out to spend time with Jen, my parents and I. We only wish we had more time to catch up with folks and that it wasn't under these circumstances.
We've had a lot of folks contact us expressing wishes to donate to help Jen and Nicholas, and to help fund Nicholas' college education. Thank you for thinking of us and expressing this wish to help. Jen and I are meeting with a financial counselor on Monday in order to setup an account that she could use to help with the cost of raising Nicholas, and to roll the account and an existing 529 college savings plan under a trust that had been setup by Andy for Nicholas.
We'll also be talking to charities about giving people the opportunity to make a donation to an "official" charity in memory of Andy that will focus on Lung Cancer, as this was one of Andy's wishes.
I expect that I'll publish all that information within a week or so, after all the paperwork is done and everything is established. Thank you for your patience as we setup these avenues to help in Andy's memory.
We're also going to make a book for Nicholas, and for us, with photos of Andy and stories about him. So - if you have a good story, jot it down. Jen and I will send out information about how we'll collect them and include them in the book.
Thank you again, to all those that came, to friends and relatives that helped us with this, and to friends that could not be here but sent wishes and thoughts to us.
Tim
Friday, February 11, 2011
MetroWest News Article
Hi all,
Today we have the visiting hours followed by the funeral service on Saturday. We've been inundated by calls, texts, emails and notes about Andy and what he meant to all of us. Family and friends have begun coming in as well (which can be a shock when you come from the LA area to Boston in the winter). Thank you to everyone who has dropped by the family home with food, condolences and offered to host out of town guests.
The MetroWest Daily News ran an article in today's paper about Andy's death and our friend Jamie's Boston Marathon run in his honor. Both the article and the run are nice tributes to his life.
It's nice that it's sunny out today for the viewing. Provides a little warmth on a cold day.
Tim
Today we have the visiting hours followed by the funeral service on Saturday. We've been inundated by calls, texts, emails and notes about Andy and what he meant to all of us. Family and friends have begun coming in as well (which can be a shock when you come from the LA area to Boston in the winter). Thank you to everyone who has dropped by the family home with food, condolences and offered to host out of town guests.
The MetroWest Daily News ran an article in today's paper about Andy's death and our friend Jamie's Boston Marathon run in his honor. Both the article and the run are nice tributes to his life.
It's nice that it's sunny out today for the viewing. Provides a little warmth on a cold day.
Tim
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Andy's Arrangements
Hi All,
It's still surreal, been a blur of a month, a long year and it's still hard to believe. While we knew that this vicious disease would take his body someday we all hoped that it would be later. He fought valiantly and gave us extra time, time for great memories and to speak, to love and to feel all this together.
Jen and I spent today making the arrangements with the funeral home, while Dad and Mom kept sanity at the family home, and kept Nicholas occupied. Mom drafted the obituary that will run tomorrow. Dad coordinated with family on coming to Boston.
Andy's visiting hours will be this Friday 11 February from 5 - 8 PM at McCarthy & Sons Funeral Home in Framingham, on Lincoln Street. On Saturday we will hold a service at noon at the funeral home and then gather to remember Andy and toast his life. All are welcome to attend.
I've appended the obituary that will run tomorrow in the Boston Globe and Middlesex News.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us on Facebook, through emails, texts and calls. We are overwhelmed with the love that you have all shown for Andy and our family.
Many have asked about donations, about how to help. We're going to work on setting up a charitable organization to help Nicholas and seed cancer research organizations. I'll send more information when we figure out how to do this.
Tim
*************************************************************
Andrew R. “Andy” Swan, 35 years old, of Framingham, died Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, Boston, surrounded by family, after a courageous year-long battle with lung cancer. Andy was the husband of Jennifer M. (Meyer) Swan.
Born in Framingham, son of Robert S. and Irene T. (Wenten) Swan, he grew up in Framingham. Andy was a graduate of Framingham High School Class of 1993 and graduated with honors from The Pennsylvania State University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Film and Video. After college, Andy followed his dream to write, direct, and make movies, culminating in several Independent Film Festival awards. He was an avid Boston sports fan, an outstanding lacrosse player at Penn State, and loved to ride his Harley Davidson motorcycle.
In addition to his wife and parents, Andy leaves behind his four-year old son, Nicholas A. Swan, of Framingham, his beloved brother Timothy S. Swan of Somerville, and Tim’s fiancée, Ann Jacques of Derry, NH.
A Funeral Service will take place on Saturday, February 12, 2011 at 12:00 noon at Eugene J. McCarthy and Sons Funeral Home, 11 Lincoln St., Framingham. Relatives and friends are kindly invited to attend. Calling hours at the funeral home will be on Friday, February 11, 2011 from 5:00-8:00 p.m. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in Andy’s memory to Dana Farber Cancer Institute, Thoracic Oncology Department, 44 Binney St., Boston, MA 02115.
It's still surreal, been a blur of a month, a long year and it's still hard to believe. While we knew that this vicious disease would take his body someday we all hoped that it would be later. He fought valiantly and gave us extra time, time for great memories and to speak, to love and to feel all this together.
Jen and I spent today making the arrangements with the funeral home, while Dad and Mom kept sanity at the family home, and kept Nicholas occupied. Mom drafted the obituary that will run tomorrow. Dad coordinated with family on coming to Boston.
Andy's visiting hours will be this Friday 11 February from 5 - 8 PM at McCarthy & Sons Funeral Home in Framingham, on Lincoln Street. On Saturday we will hold a service at noon at the funeral home and then gather to remember Andy and toast his life. All are welcome to attend.
I've appended the obituary that will run tomorrow in the Boston Globe and Middlesex News.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us on Facebook, through emails, texts and calls. We are overwhelmed with the love that you have all shown for Andy and our family.
Many have asked about donations, about how to help. We're going to work on setting up a charitable organization to help Nicholas and seed cancer research organizations. I'll send more information when we figure out how to do this.
Tim
*************************************************************
Andrew R. “Andy” Swan, 35 years old, of Framingham, died Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, Boston, surrounded by family, after a courageous year-long battle with lung cancer. Andy was the husband of Jennifer M. (Meyer) Swan.
Born in Framingham, son of Robert S. and Irene T. (Wenten) Swan, he grew up in Framingham. Andy was a graduate of Framingham High School Class of 1993 and graduated with honors from The Pennsylvania State University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Film and Video. After college, Andy followed his dream to write, direct, and make movies, culminating in several Independent Film Festival awards. He was an avid Boston sports fan, an outstanding lacrosse player at Penn State, and loved to ride his Harley Davidson motorcycle.
In addition to his wife and parents, Andy leaves behind his four-year old son, Nicholas A. Swan, of Framingham, his beloved brother Timothy S. Swan of Somerville, and Tim’s fiancée, Ann Jacques of Derry, NH.
A Funeral Service will take place on Saturday, February 12, 2011 at 12:00 noon at Eugene J. McCarthy and Sons Funeral Home, 11 Lincoln St., Framingham. Relatives and friends are kindly invited to attend. Calling hours at the funeral home will be on Friday, February 11, 2011 from 5:00-8:00 p.m. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in Andy’s memory to Dana Farber Cancer Institute, Thoracic Oncology Department, 44 Binney St., Boston, MA 02115.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
At Peace
Hi All,
This is the blog that I've dreaded for the past year. Andy passed away this morning, with Jen and Mom at his side. It was very peaceful, a few breaths and then he was taken.
We spent the day with him, with family and some close friends coming in. We cried, laughed and helped each other, I imagine there will be much more of that in the coming days.
We are planning on having visiting hours Friday afternoon / evening and a service on Saturday morning in Framingham. I will post the information after we meet with the funeral home tomorrow.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the love, and good memories, and hope you provided for us and for Andy this past year. It's been wonderful these past days to read messages of hope and thanks and love to Andy and read them for ourselves.
Rest peacefully Andy.
We will always love you.
Tim
This is the blog that I've dreaded for the past year. Andy passed away this morning, with Jen and Mom at his side. It was very peaceful, a few breaths and then he was taken.
We spent the day with him, with family and some close friends coming in. We cried, laughed and helped each other, I imagine there will be much more of that in the coming days.
We are planning on having visiting hours Friday afternoon / evening and a service on Saturday morning in Framingham. I will post the information after we meet with the funeral home tomorrow.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the love, and good memories, and hope you provided for us and for Andy this past year. It's been wonderful these past days to read messages of hope and thanks and love to Andy and read them for ourselves.
Rest peacefully Andy.
We will always love you.
Tim
Friday, February 4, 2011
Surrounded by Family
All
Andy had the procedure completed last Thursday. While it provided temporary relief to his lower back and legs, he had additional pain in his upper back. On Monday he was assessed for further radiation in that area. During the Monday night and Tuesday he was in a pain crisis.
He is surrounded by family at the hospital now. On Tuesday a family meeting was called and we met with his pain team and medical team. The cancer has accelerated and there's no further treatment that Andy's body could handle. They are medicating him to try to bring him some peace. Because of the meds he is on and pain he is in he will not be able to leave the hospital. He was made aware of all this and like us he struggled with this rapid physical deterioration and news. He had some time of lucidity on Wednesday and Thursday to speak with us all.
The drugs are powerful so he drifts in and out of being awake.
They are talking about days now.
While we appreciate your thoughts and prayers we may not return calls or emails for now.
Please pray for relief for Andy.
Tim
Andy had the procedure completed last Thursday. While it provided temporary relief to his lower back and legs, he had additional pain in his upper back. On Monday he was assessed for further radiation in that area. During the Monday night and Tuesday he was in a pain crisis.
He is surrounded by family at the hospital now. On Tuesday a family meeting was called and we met with his pain team and medical team. The cancer has accelerated and there's no further treatment that Andy's body could handle. They are medicating him to try to bring him some peace. Because of the meds he is on and pain he is in he will not be able to leave the hospital. He was made aware of all this and like us he struggled with this rapid physical deterioration and news. He had some time of lucidity on Wednesday and Thursday to speak with us all.
The drugs are powerful so he drifts in and out of being awake.
They are talking about days now.
While we appreciate your thoughts and prayers we may not return calls or emails for now.
Please pray for relief for Andy.
Tim
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